About me

I am Golden.


A southern girl with love for northern women, or one northern woman in particular.


A lover of words, creative minds, and sweet foods.


Owner of too many random (and often odd) thoughts.


Perpetually clumsy, absent minded and positive.


Constantly adding a golden lining to every situation.


Future mother. Future wife. Future best selling author.


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Repost: Making Up

March 5th, 2010 by ABG received 4 Comments »

I woke to a dark morning. Sunlight did not mark the start of a new day. I heard raindrops hitting my roof. A gloomy day to match my gloomy mood.

Sean and I had argued again last night. It was over something so silly, I couldn’t remember the reason. Whenever we argued, Sean would always take refuge on the lumpy couch in our living room. She knew I hated to sleep alone. It was her way of punishing me because the arguments were usually my fault.

I could hear her moving around the small house we shared. She was in the room next door to me. The room we had set up as our office. I might as well get the apology over with.

I forced myself out of bed. I made my way to the bathroom to freshen up. I poked my head into the office. She sat in the large leather chair, hands busy on the computer keyboard. She didn’t even look up.

“Baby…” My voice trailed off. I was unsure how to continue. She shot me a quick look. I could see her brown eyes were filled with irritation. She was still mad at me. “Baby, I’m sorry…” I walked further into the room. I touched her shoulder and felt her body tense underneath my hand. Her fingers paused on the keys. A deep sigh broke the uncomfortable silence. It came from her.

“I’m tired of this. It’s like you’re always looking for a reason to stir things up.” She spun around in the big chair to face me. It was then that I noticed her nipples protruding through the thin material of her undershirt.

I could feel a tingling between my legs. I reached out and placed my hands on her lightly muscled shoulders. She pulled me into a straddling position in her lap. I looked into her eyes and saw pain there.

“I’m tired of hearing I’m sorry. You’ll have to do better than that to make it up to me this time.” My mind was fuzzy. Being so close to her, I could smell her scent. It was a mixture of citrus and mint. It had my head spinning.

I leaned in to kiss her where her scent seemed the strongest, at the base of her throat. My lips met soft skin, my tongue creeped out to lick her pulse. One hand circled around her neck, moving up the back of her nearly bald head. I heard a sharp intake of breath. Underneath me, I felt her pelvis thrust forward. A quick flash of lightening announced the presence of a storm.

As my lips moved against her skin, her sounds of approval sounded like low grunts. Almost animalistic, raw. Her hands gripped my hips, just above my waist.

“Hmmm, I like that,” I whispered softly in her ear. Three seconds later, I felt myself being pushed away. It wasn’t hard for her to read the confusion on my face.

“No, this isn’t about you. This is about you making it up to me. I’m mad at you remember?” Her smiling face contradicted the harsh tone of her words. “Beg for my forgiveness. On your knees.” She pointed to the floor.

I sank my knees into the thickly carpeted floor. She stood to remove her plaid boxers, leaving herself bare from the waist down. She sat on the edge of the chair with her legs apart exposing an already slick treasure of plump lips and a slightly erect clitoris.

I sank my face into the crevice her thighs left for me. I licked all of her moisture, swallowing after each mouthful. I wanted to go slow, to make it last, but she grabbed me by the back of my head thrusting upwards into my mouth. I took all of her thickness into my mouth, sucking before flicking my tongue quickly over her clit. Feeling her grow inside my mouth was my reward.

She leaned into the chair, her shoulders the only part of her body connecting with the lumbar supports. She exposed more of herself to me. I let my tongue slide down lower, putting pressure around her vaginal opening. A long stroke of my tongue back to her clit, I pulled it inside my mouth with my lips. Her clit was thick and hard inside my mouth, while my tongue massaged it.

“Harder,” she demanded. She pulled my hair to hold me in place. With a stiff tongue, I gave her what she asked for while moving my tongue in a horizontal motion.

“Suck. It. Hard.” Her words came out like a growl. I increased the suction, still placing pressure on her ever swelling clit. She thrust upwards hard, releasing a low gutteral groan, her body jerking in pleasure before becoming still.

I looked up at her, resisting the urge to smile. “Am I forgiven?”

I will be on The Homo Bi Exchange on hosted by Decoi Jones on BlogTalkRadio on Sunday, March 7. The show starts at 10pm, but I am told my segment should start around 11:15pm. Decoi will be discussing Lesbian Misogyny, so I encourage all of you to listen to the entire show. Click here for the show.

Love With Expectations

March 4th, 2010 by ABG received 6 Comments »

Revisiting some of these older blogs and relating them to how I feel now wasn’t my plan when I found these old posts, but it’s working for me, so I’m gonna go with it…Maybe yall didn’t even realize that yesterday’s post was written almost a year ago…

I had a conversation with the Lil Monkey one day when I said to her almost the exact same words I used in the Love Without Expectations post. I told her that I didn’t know what it meant when someone says I love you back.

It was rather emotional for me, I’m sure that I was in the beginning stages of falling for her (or it could’ve been PMS). She told me that I was being unfair to her and to wait to see how it felt to be with her. I would know how she felt about me then.

She was right.

I’ve learned that love comes with expectations. To believe that you can have one without the other is impossible. If you love someone you will expect certain things out of them: loyalty, consideration, trust, comfort, respect…

If you don’t expect anything out of someone you’re involved with, then you should question the role you want that person to play in your life. To be with someone and not expect anything from them is the attitude you should have with someone you do not have any intentions of being serious with. That’s why love without expectations doesn’t work.

Love only works when people share the same definition of the word. It’s not a conversation that needs to be had. It’s a realistic view of someone’s actions and behaviors. I say realistic, than means without the distorted view of rose colored glasses.

Actions speak louder than words, it’s true.

Love Without Expectations

March 3rd, 2010 by ABG received 14 Comments »

Original Post Date: June 2, 2009

I stepped away from writing about anything that felt too personal, for a variety of different reasons (none of them relevant to this post). I was then reminded I started this blog to get the personal stuff out so that I can go on and deal with life, so here we go…

Falling in love has never seemed to be a problem for me. I relish the feeling, the excitement of loving someone new. You see sunshine when it storms, you see light in shadows. It’s a permant state of euphoria. The highest high. I inhale, taking it deep inside me, relishing it’s warmth.

I say the words nervously. I love you. Not with the normal fears. I don’t wait for a response, I pray for silence. If the sentiment is returned, thats when I get scared.

I’m more comfortable loving someone than being loved in return. I know what it means for me to love someone, even if it’s in that first stage of blossoming love, I still take it seriously. It means devotion, adoration. It means comfort, trust. It means honesty, a future. That’s what it means to me.

But I don’t know what it means when someone says it back.

Love is one of those things that everyone does differently. How one person does it, isn’t the same as another, but it’s no less right…

But how do I know that I will be loved the way I need to be? How do I know that the word means the same thing to me as it does to you?

I don’t.

I expect things from people that claim to love me, so I’d prefer if the words were never said. I’d prefer not to have the expectations.

It’s the expectations that aren’t met that causes the pain, so if I don’t have expectations, I can’t get hurt.

Right?

Maybe I should figure out how to love without expectations.

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