a baby story: part ii
Her innocence was so bright it was blinding. She believed that couples could satisfy each others every need if they would only try hard enough. She believed she needed me, that I could somehow rescue her from a life where love was not an everyday occurrence. She made me want to believe…I was envious. How much easier would my life be if I could believe like I was 22? Believing in love like I was 22 would be lovely, but was that even possible with the knowledge and experience I have earned so far?
From midnight to 3am we would talk. She wanted to have kids. She loved the idea of being pregnant. She loved to read nonfiction. She was in to holistic health. She was energetic.
She was young…
She still lived under mom’s roof. She had no responsibilities. She didn’t even pay her own cell phone bill. Her plan was to go into the Army, but she seemed hesitant. As if she was looking for a reason not to go. I encouraged her…
She wanted to visit for a couple of weeks. She didn’t like that I told her that 2 weeks was too long for a first visit.
She said she needed me. I corrected her need by changing it to a want. She said ok at first, but changed her response by exclaiming she knew what she meant and I shouldn’t talk down to her by correcting her. I explained the difference between a need and a want. She said she loved me, but thought I needed time to heal from my last relationship. I laughed and told her we weren’t going to work. She said she was sorry and asked for forgiveness. I couldn’t accepted an unwarranted apology. Told her I’d be her friend. I blocked her from calling my cell. She continued to text and call until 2:30 that morning.
I woke up the following morning with 12 pictures of her on my phone, all looking like the saddest puppy. A huge change from the naked pictures I had just received a few days before. I text her to let her know I’d received them. She said she was writing me a poem. The words were beautiful, but like Erykah said “what good do your words do if people can’t understand you?” I had no clue what she was trying to say. It read like someone who threw a bunch of large words together without thought to the meaning. She told me that if I wanted to fuck her I could. She said she was trying to grow up and she wanted me to help her. She wanted to learn the difference between dating and relationships. Huh?
After my lack of response, the next day I noticed I had been deleted from her myspace. Then I received a text saying, “I no longer wish to communicate with you any longer…please do not respond to this text.”
Did I mention all of this happened in a matter of a week?
to be continued…
Is this the same girl that became your roommate?
I can’t say much on this one, because I’m only 24 – but I do believe that age is not always an indicator of maturity.
No, she didn’t become my roommate. I met her through my roomie. I thought that might get a little confusing, but since I try to keep things nameless it gets a little hard…
And I definitely believe that maturity comes from experience and not age.
Wow. You should write short stories. I have to say….drama, drama.
I am actually working on something. Kinda like an online written L word…
wow … intense week. and i really hope you let us read your fiction, you write s0 well
She has a very intense personality. That much hasn’t changed.
And I will add a seperate blog for the fiction…As soon as I get it together…
You should start a chart!
A chart? Not a bad idea!
Aw. Perhaps she’ll realize why you did what you did, when she’s gone a little further on her journey.
I’ve told her. Not sure if understands though…
http://www.ourchart.com
Now I’m putting together who this is, and I’m absolutely hooked.
Since I’m late coming around I’m getting to read more than one at a time and I hope there are more up. Lemme go see…