What am I going to do now?
That seems to be the question most of you are asking and I have an answer for you, but first…
T, the guy’s who’s house we’re staying at, has offered to let me stay here. Of course he wants to date me. He says that we should at least try. I feel sorry for the guy because if he was a girl, I would halfway pay attention to him, but since he’s not, he can hang all of his goodness up in the closet because it’s not doing him any good here. We had a long talk yesterday about the Baby and PK. He says that they are about to get caught up. I didn’t realize how corrupt the military was until those two started talking. There is so much BS going on and the Baby is right in the middle of it and doesn’t even know it. The good thing about T is that he is trying to help her, without any ulterior motives. He told me I could use his address for whatever I need to have mailed for ID. Do you know he said he had a thirty minute conversation with the Baby about me? According to him, she said she was going to hook him up because she knows he’ll do right by me. WTF?
Anyway, JP starts counseling today. She’s actually there as I’m typing this. It’ll be a Monday through Friday thing unless they decide today that she needs to be admitted. Coincidentally, she’s subscribed to this blog by email and the entry I wrote for her she never got. I told her about it last night and she was supposed to actually go online to read it. I told her she had yalls suppport.
I feel like I should tell all of you that I’m ok. Something you may not know about me is that I have the ability to cut people off quickly and easily. It’s not a good thing, but it keeps my heart safe. I’ve cut the Baby off. I don’t have any emotion for her besides irritation. That sounds bad…I care about her. I’m concerned about what she’s gotten herself into, but at the same time, I know she would never be someone I could spend my life with. Are you asking why?
The person she presented herself to be was someone that handled her business. She was always talking about how she “doesn’t play” when it’s time to get things done. Now that I’m here, I see that it’s the complete opposite. The reason why things are as fucked up as they are is because she relies on other people too much. She wants someone to do things for her instead of doing things for herself. She doesn’t really understand the things that are going on around her and she thinks she doesn’t have to because the people around her understand. That bothers me. I like to know and understand what’s happening, just to be informed and if I don’t understand it, I’m not doing it. That’s how people get taken advantage of.
Another reason I can’t be with her…I hate to say it like this, but she’s not smart. An example, she has a navigation system in her car and she really expects it to tell her how to get out of the parking lot. She can see where the directions are going to have her ending up but she doesn’t have enough sense to turn.
She doesn’t take responsibility for her own mistakes. I’ve heard her make so many excuses about things since I’ve been here. Things are PK’s fault, the navigation system’s fault, they are her Sgt’s fault. I believe it’s a sign of maturity to be able to say, I fucked up and accept the consequences of your actions…
Now I will say, I FUCKED UP. Like royally. I went against a lot of my own rules and I behaved like a stereotypical lesbian throughout this situation. I vowed after my last break up that I wouldn’t even be in a relationship until the beginning of the year. And look what I did. There are so many lessons to be had here, I’m not sure what they all are yet, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out.
What am I going to do? I’m going to go to the post office an file a change of address to T’s address from the address on my license and hope that it makes it here. I’m going to call the GA dmv and see what else I can do. I have to call my mom and ask her to mail me my SS card. I have to call the Dept of Vital Records and see what I can do with them. I should’ve done all of this already, right? Yeah, but I had no address to mail anything to. The Baby refuses to go pick up her mailbox key because she refuses to stay in that apartment.
After I get ID, I’m heading home. Not to Atlanta, but to SC. So my final call will be to my aunt to see if I can stay with her. There is no room with my mother, besides she’d drive me crazy…
Geez, Alix. I’m worried about you. This is crazy.
Aw Alix, I wish you the best. This season is so messed up for people I know! I don’t know what is in the air, but it sucks. I will keep praying for you to find peace in all of this, please let me know how you are!
Wow. That’s crazy that she had a convo with ole boy about hooking you up with him. What the heck is that all about??? I never saw it coming to all of this. Just follow your heart and do what you know you need to do. I wish you the best.
I am so sorry this happened. It is good that you found these things out quickly, so you didn’t waste too much time. Keep ur head up shorty, it’ll all come out in the wash
This really is most unfortunate. The baby is out of her mind. She really is just that, a baby.
Is SC your final stop or will you be moving back to ATL or somewhere else?
@Brianne- No worries. I’m good, I promise!
@Glennisha- That’s what I said! She is really pushing me off on this dude. Like it’s just ok…
@Bella- Yeah, I’m glad I found out sooner rather than later. I haven’t even unpacked yet.
@Tami- I could never LIVE in SC. It’ll be a temporary stop on my way back to ATL…
I figured that much…SC doesn’t seem like it has much to offer for the younger crowd.
I haven’t lived in SC in over 10 years. My first time spending more than 2 days there was last Christmas. I have no idea what to DO in SC and I don’t really want to find out. It’s not so much about the state, but my family is there and there are only a handful of people there that I can truly be me around.
I’m quite sure you’ll be just fine as you say. Gee…if I were in rva again you’d totally have a place! I too am glad you found out sooner rather than later.
I don’t know the full story, but based on this entry it sounds pretty intense. However, I have a strong feeling that you’ll get through it.
Well shit, you already KNOW what I feel about this, and if I scream any more I’ll lose my damn voice! But you know I also know about your capability of turning folks off like a switch, and your ability to land on your feet. So I admit to being less worried about you than I’d be about someone else in your shoes (especially since, OUCH, those shoes would KILL any other feet!) but still, Puppy, WAAAH!
It’s so fucked up! It may have been a typical lesbian/U-Haul maneuver, but I know you know how to take responsibility for your actions, and I’m glad you’re getting the P.O. thing going. Hope that works out!
XX
I hope everything works out for you. I do have to add my concern about T. He is telling you that the Baby tried to set you up with him. I don’t know that he is telling the whole truth. If the Baby is in the closet, perhaps she is just saying whatever he expects and wants to hear. I’m not sure about him or your being there with a man who has the hots for you – and will continue in his pursuit of you. I know you’re upset with The baby but you cannot just take his word. AND there is a possibility that he will use everything you tell him to blackmail her and get whatever he wants or he will have them kicked out. Being kicked out goes on your permanent record and is not what I would wish on her – even if she is immature. I’m thinking you should go by an ID shop and get an ID made, ask your aunt for money and fly home. I do not think you should stay there because a big pile of ugly is being stirred and something horrible will happen. Ex-military here. People will do anything so they wont get caught out for being gay – if they need to finish their time.
She has been a child and very irresponsible but you may be getting ready to bury her – because you’re not aware of the sneaky way things are done.
I agree with steady above. I was thinking along the same lines, especially about T.
@cocoyea- The entire story is here for the reading
@mermaid- I found another way. Keep reading…
@steadycat- I don’t plan on telling this man about what happened with me and the Baby. It’s her business and I’m not vengeful like that. He already knows something isn’t quite right with their marriage. He knows that just by observing how they interact. I don’t believe everything he says, which is why I said “according to him.” However, he has had conversations with her in front of me about trying to holla at me and all she did was giggle and leave the room. I can’t go to an ID shop because I have no proof of who I am. I feel like a broken record…
I called the Georgia DMV and they told me that I could get a temporary permit until I can get something permanent. I had to fax a letter with my info and it will be mailed to me in 3 to 5 days. While I don’t like the idea of being here with T, I have no options. The Baby has had one of the sgts make false deployment papers so she can break her lease and find somewhere new to live.
So the shyt done hit the fan. What the nerve of Baby and baby is fitting for a name. Alix, get your id and hurry your way to SC. I can’t believe Baby was perpetrating like she was all so special and then when you finally get up there, it’s like everything turned upside down.
Giiiirlll, I knew it was a reason I liked you. You are just like me. When it is time to get sh*t done. It is time to get it done. I want to know…how I missed this damn post and all of these comments. I feel like I have been on here all damn day. If my car was working like that, I would’ve picked your ass up by now.
Damn. After all that huh? Well, you doing what every real woman would. Moving the fuck on. I know the feeling, I mean the “how did everything go so wrong so fast feeling?”. It happens. I have that same characteristic. I can drop people real quick. It helps with coping. It will keep you sane. It’s not a bad thing, its a survival of the fittest thing. lol. Well I’m not worried about. Your strong. You will be just fine. That I know.
@ladybug- isn’t that crazy? I called her a baby before I knew the real reason why…
@Tamara- They are about to get caught up by dealing with all of these corrupt people and running their mouths too much. Later for this shit… And thanks
@Erica- I’m definitely not one to sit around and cry. T said to me yesterday that he admired that I was still able to be positive with everything going on around me. I wanted to say to him so bad that he had no clue as to what was going on around me, lol…
Alix, it is very possible that you are being used to be claimed as a dependent. When you are active duty military, and you get married…that’s extra money…alot of extra money. Secondly, if the Baby “claims” you on her tax return for ’08, that is another ton of cash for her and whoever. I have been reading your blogs for a bit now, and I kind of knew that is what the deal was. And I am sure you know from reading MY blogs, that I speak my mind. This is the only conclusion I can come up with at this time. This was also another reason I got out the Marines…too much fuckin’ corruption and the military isn’t gay friendly at all. Thank God I never got caught up with the bull. I just wish that instead of you moving, you could have visited instead and feel her personality out. I’m not even in your situation and I am pissed because I do not like it when people claim to be something that they are not. I cannot stand a fake. This is just my 2 cents…please free to add a couple dollars.
PS: And if it is a fact that she is just using you to claim you for taxes next year, just be advised that if her Command is notified, she can be charged with an Article under the Uniformed Code of Military Justice. That was my job for 4 years in there. Just saying….just in case you get screwed over, ’cause ppl do these things in the military. Once again…just saying.
I’m so sorry for you, Alix, although I do believe you’ll be okay. Just get as far from her as humanly possible. I think it’s atrocious what AJ suggests is true. I don’t like this chick (the Baby).
I share your ability to cut people off quickly and easily and you are right… it’s a great way to protect your heart.
Hey Alix, come let your hair loose in Johannesburg – South Africa!!!!
On a serious note though, am so sorry about how things turned out for you and the Baby. Before moving on you should speak to her though. Don’t leave things hanging.
Good Luck!
@AJ- Grown people can claim other grown people? How is that possible and how would I know? I think you’re giving her much more credit than she deserves. Besides wouldn’t she need my personal information to do that? She can barely spell my last name.
@deepdiva- I don’t like her very much right about now either.
@sinnerviewer- it’s the best protection, though you often get called cold in the process
Heeey, Margo! Thanks for commenting! I’d love to drop in on Johannesburg. I wish it was that simple…
Hell yea grown people can claim other grown people IN THE MILITARY. Woman, if you only knew. Money for days. Just saying….don’t be surprised. And the only credit I’m giving her is bad credit….sorry.
That’s some BS!
Alix I’m telling you yo. All you gotta do is live with her/them and you are automatically a dependent. Yo, let me ask you something, do you have the ID to get access on the base? If yes, what does it say on it??????
For no specific period of time? Without any proof? That’s crazy!
You have the ID?
No, I don’t have any id period. All this time I’ve been writing about getting id and you’re asking me that? lol…No, I lost my wallet with my DL and I wasn’t issued a military id…I think that’s what you’re getting at.
Perhaps I overlooked it Sasha “Fierce.” Heh!
Anyways, on a more positive note, seriously, ummmm…what is she…gay, bi or confused? Hurry up and post more Fierce one.