Am I the jumpoff?
So you and ole girl spending time.. After having a session, you wonder, what ARE we doing? Are we just fucking? And how does a lady begin to ask that question and still be thought of as a lady?
Are you the jumpoff?
“My jump off doesn’t run off at the mouth so much, My jump off never ask why I go out so much, My jump off never has me going out of my way, And she don’t want nothing on Valentines Day…” Joe Budden
jumpoff: A sexual partner who is seen as more than a one night stand, but less than a relationship prospect
Generally speaking, you know when you’re the jumpoff…
Have you ever interacted with any of her friends/family? She doesn’t want you telling anyone about her and she damn sure hasn’t told a soul about YOU.
Show up unannounced one day. If you make it inside it’s just so she can ask what you want, you’re a jumpoff.
There are no witnesses. Everything you do is in the privacy of your own homes. There are no pictures posted on facebook. No subliminal tweets about how she’s thinking of you. You don’t exist.
If you’re allowed to spend the night, she ushers you out before the sun is even awake. There’s no breakfast, no coffee and no good morning. She runs around the house making sure everything your brought with you, is taken home with you.
She doesn’t share her life with you. Your phone conversations are 15 minutes or less. You’ve never seen her baby pictures. You don’t know what she does at work all day. And she doesn’t know anything about you…Because she hasn’t asked.
If she was stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire, would she call you? If you were sick, would she bring you soup? Would you even ask her to bring you soup?
You are the jumpoff if there is no foundation being built for the future. It’s not really a question of asking her if you’re the jump off. Don’t ask her if yall are just fucking. Ask yourself. Then decide if you’re ok with that.
I love this post. I was recently educating a friend on her situation and she was surprised to realize that she is, in fact, just a jumpoff. I think that people (especially women) have a hard time grasping this concept… Excellent Post!
Enigma recently posted..Parting is such sweet sorrow
I think that’s because women in general have a hard time distinguishing the difference between sexual gratification and love/relationships. Women seem to think it has to lead to something, while men are content to being led by their little heads…
I have been in too many of these kinds of relationships. Silent. Anonymous. No pictures ever taken. Not necessarily painful, but not really fulfilling. I hope you and Billie are still loving each other. I love reading your blog, Alix.