How Do I Get My Groove Back?
Why in the name of Womanhood have I not have the desire to sleep with anyone (female/male). My desire for men has disolved…. so have I embraced my sexuality …. but ok It has been 10 months…. the last time I chose celibacy it lasted 3 years and I am not going that route again! This is what I really would like to know is — How does one go about getting her groove back and getting back in the game?
Three years? You can’t hear me, but I am giving you a round of applause. The first thing I would like to know is why you want to have sex?
We’ve discussed your situation. You don’t have anyone you’re seeing regularly. That means there isn’t anyone out there that you have a mental connection with…So why are you seeking the physical connection?
I know you didn’t ask for the lecture, but I think part of the answer to your question is figuring out how you lost your groove in the first place. What happened?
Every time I’ve felt as though I lost my groove, it had a lot to do with how I felt about myself. It’s hard to be a major player in the “game” if you don’t feel as though you should be playing. The people in this world that are grooving and playing have confidence and feel good about themselves.
Now this might be a false sense of confidence. They may be faking it, but sometimes you have to fake it until you actually start to believe it.
Do something for yourself that is going to make you feel sexy. Do it simply for you without any thought of what anyone else might say about or think about what you’re doing. Please yourself. Do something that will make you think, “I got it going on!” Yes, I’m old. So shoot me.
You have to feel sexy before you’ll actually feel desire.
Once you really start feeling yourself (even if that means in the literal sense) slowly get back into the game. Take this new found sexiness and flaunt it. It’s your power. Don’t give it up so quickly. Be discriminate about who you play with next and maybe the game will last longer.
Excellent advice.
I agree !!!!! Good blog today….
Hey lady! Glad to see you’re still moving and shaking on this blog! It’s always a pleasure to stop by.
I thought the advice you gave was sound. For me, whenever I’m feeling like the groove might be slipping a bit, I try something new — a new outfit, a new haircut/color, a new tattoo even
Love and respect,
dante.
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wow, this was a great post. I was feeling a bit of lost groove myself. Although I recently removed myself from a 15 year drama fest, its been at least 6 years since I have been sexually intimate. Perhaps it IS because of the way I feel about myself….guess I will cruise to the inner sanctum for further research…thanks for the pointer Alix!
Alix,
You get a gold star for this blog entry, Carina! The advice was on point, especially the part about having the writer to reflect on how she lost her groove on the first place! How perfect it was to have her do something nice for herself. Self love! It’s the key!
You’re a sensational advice giver, Alix! Rejoice in that knowledge!
Getting up to rest and stretch! It’s Friday!!!!
Have a great one, Alix
!
Wow! This has hit close to home with me. I was one that had some serious relationships, but dated a lot and always felt as if I needed to be with someone. The older I have gotten and several failed relationships later, I have lost any groove I ever had. It has been 3 years since I have dated, had sex with, or even kissed someone. I have lost all desire for any of it. I am so glad I found your blog. Keep it up girl!
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