I will try again tomorrow: Part 2
I felt the need to clarify after I received a few comments about me coming out on my last post.
I am out!!
I am not in the closet.
My post is not about me telling people I’m gay. They already know that. My relationship status on Facebook doesn’t simply state I am in a relationship. It states I am in a relationship with Sugar. I’ve had our picture as my default.
I don’t hide from them, but I don’t flaunt it either. Yesterday, I wanted to flaunt it. Today, I still want to flaunt it. Tomorrow, I’m sure I will feel the same way.
I believe you get to a degree of acceptance from people that you know are uncomfortable with your sexuality that makes you either want to stir it up or accept it for what it is.
I know that I can bring Sugar home with me, introduce her as my girl and no one will be rude. They will actually be down right friendly…But no one is gonna ask us when we’re getting married or how we met…
Those are the type of things I’d like to be bold enough to share, but I don’t want to lose the acceptance I’ve managed to acquire over time.
Get it?
Hey! I understand better what you’re saying now. And I’m basically in the same situation. Everyone will be nice, everyone will smile, but, besides my one very open and outgoing aunt, nobody really wants to know more. They’re afraid, I think, which I suppose is normal. I once went out for hibachi with my family, and ordered sushi, and they looked at me like I was crazy. If uncooked fish as a meal is scary to them, you can imagine the things that must be floating around in their heads about my relationships with women! When you figure out how to maneuver that one, please share the secret with all of us!
Peace and love and bugs named Doug
GreyGirl
GreyGirl recently posted..She’s Just Not That Into You
Hahaha! Don’t mean to chuckle at your pain, but that sushi comparison cracks me up!
I understand your famly will be nice and make small converstaion. My family when I arrive to events… well lets put it this way: The men are very happy to see me and the women let say some act like their virture will be compromised. When in reality it was compromised before I was even born.
I understand, Alix. My family, too, knows that I’m gay, and they know that I have a girlfriend. It isn’t a secret. It isn’t a secret with my friends either. But it is also something that my family and I don’t talk about, we don’t address it at all. If I use my girlfriend’s name in a conversation, I get no reply. Or I get just an “mhm.” I think they think they’re being polite; I feel that it’s superficial. They’re born-again Christians, they don’t approve, so they just remain silent. I’ve come to the realization that not everyone in my life is going to celebrate me. Not everyone is going to jump for joy over the same things. My family is really happy about some things; my friends are happy about other things. And my son, yet other things. I have to be me. This Coming Out Day, I also wanted to celebrate in a big way. But I didn’t. I just sported my “Marriage is so gay” t-shirt and went about my day. …I understand…
Yes, I completely agree with you on that one. It is always the elephant in the room when it comes to me and my family. They know it exists but they do not want to talk about it. I want to discuss marriage maybe, or moving in together. People are very nice and open about things, but they never prob any further than she is a lesbian. LMAO…sometimes it is cool with me other times I am like WTF……
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I completely understand where you are coming from. I have been in a relationship for almost 16 years now. We own a home together. My family comes to our house every Thanksgiving and Christmas…but our relationship is never discussed. We are looking into moving soon to a state that recognizes same-sex marriage, but if we get married I am not sure about inviting my family since we do not discuss it. I figure I’ll just change my status on my facebook page and they will figure it out then.
My partner’s family openly discusses it, but I do not think they are ready to accept marriage yet. We still feel we are treated differently than her brother who was just recently married. We still feel there is no equality when comparing their relationship to ours. I too hope to one day blast it on facebook and everyone can either deal or delete!
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I understand the whole acceptance thing and, yeah, I can identify with that “shock and awe” thing and the odd thrill you can get by springing this tidbit on someone who didn’t know. Someone once told me that a true friend will accept you even if they don’t totally agree with you and if they turn away from you because of this, well, what does this say about them as well as your value in their eyes?
In my “old age,” I don’t worry or care about who accepts me because of my sexuality – because nothing they’re going to say to me about it is ever going to change my mind about it. If they wanna diss me, fine; they’re not the only people in the world. If it’s my family doing the dissing, well, that’s a bitch to deal with but if they can’t accept that I am living my life – and doing the nasty – in a way that makes sense to me, well, hmm, somebody’s not as grown up as they think – and it ain’t me. Fortunately, my peeps know and they don’t approve… but they don’t give me any shit about it because (1) I’m grown and (2) they know me and how I get when they piss me off so we have an understanding; I don’t flaunt it in their face, we don’t wind up fighting. With everyone else, well, all they can do is disapprove of me… because my world doesn’t revolve around them – it just includes them and if they don’t wanna stay, thanks for the memories but there’s the door.
And I’ve lost friends behind this and it does sadden me that there was something about me they couldn’t abide by – but life goes on because it has to. If I stop being the way I am because of a lack of approval, then I’m not being true to who I believe myself to be… and that is much worse than any disapproval I could hear about.
Just my two cents…
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That’s so true… its sad. But one day you will be able to.
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Consider it housecleaning in the friends/family/acquaintances department. Those who sweep themselves away are probably better left in the dust bin … it gives your “true friends/family” more room in your life.
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