About a decade ago, I wrote a blog called A Brown Girl Gone Gay and I referred to myself as Alix B. Golden. I was doing the most back in those days, and I documented all of it. I learned a lot of life lessons, and a lot about blogging.
Today, I’m writing as Chole. Is that my real name? No, but it’s pretty darn close.
In my hiatus, a lot has happened. Losing my mother to cancer has been the single most impactful event of my life. My life slowed down, mostly because my sister was living with me and counting on me for financial and emotional support. She’s almost a decade younger, and I fully stepped into big sister duties. I learned to be responsible quickly. I tried my best to guide her, be honest with her about her failures, and protect her from mine.
God is a regular part of my life again. I stepped into a church a few years ago that wrapped me in something that felt so good, I kept coming back for more. I’m still a sinner, so don’t expect any sermons. I’m just trying really hard to be the best version of myself…and right now that version still has an affinity for 4 letter words.
I’m trying y’all.
I own a home in Atlanta, GA where I live with my neurotic pit bull mix, Pretty Clever. She’s an aggressively affectionate 3 year old brindle with unlimited supply of energy and fear. She lives to watch the world go by, and bark her disapproval about any interruptions into her world.
I am in a relationship with the best woman (for me). Her personality is pretty different from mine, and that doesn’t present near as many challenges as one would expect. At our core, our values are aligned, and that makes everything else so much easier.
You may have guessed by now that I’m a grown up. The posts you’ll read will be from the view of a fortyish black woman. I don’t know when I got old, but it happened. I don’t look my age which is pretty confusing for people that don’t know how old I am. Especially when I start complaining about the odd places I’m finding grey hair.
What am I doing?
I started A Brown Girl Gone Gay approximately 10 years ago during one of the lowest points of my life. I’d been laid off from a decent job, my home was robbed and my relationship ended. All of that within a 6 month time period. I used the blog to tell stories about my life and to make sense of everything I was going through. In reality, I made sense of nothing. I just kept making bad decisions, and my readers had a front row seat to the madness I created.
While I was actively writing, I heard a lot from readers that they found themselves represented in me. I didn’t know how important representation was then, but I get it today. Today, I share excerpts from my life that you can relate to because you’re a woman, you’re gay, or you’re brown. Think of it as a literal minority report.
I let the blog go when it all became more than I could handle. Was that one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made? Prolly.
Life is calmer now. I work for a great company. My girlfriend seems to be happy to have me around. I’ve got an aggressively affectionate dog that uses me as a human pillow. Somehow, I managed to get my shit together…but some things remain true. Still brown. Still gay.