Searching for light…

In 7 days, I’m getting married. Next week this time, I’ll be decorating for a small backyard ceremony with the theme of “When life gives you lemons…” This isn’t the wedding we planned, but our love is strong even if the world isn’t right now.

The closer we get to the day, the deeper our conversation get. Unfortunately, these conversations aren’t limited to talks about rings or catering. We’re talking about getting tested for Covid19, and if our city is going to be under curfew. Again.

A black man was killed at my Wendy’s a few nights ago. It’s my Wendy’s because it’s the one closest to my house. I can get there in less than 5 minutes. I recently cancelled Wendy’s because of their support to Trump, and it still felt some kind of betrayal.

I live in a black neighborhood. When I look out the window, I’m surprised to see white people walking on the streets. It happens more now because gentrification is real, but it still catches me off guard.

A black man was shot in the back as he ran away from a white police officer. This happened around the corner from me. I could’ve been there satisfying my frosty craving. I could’ve been there.

Where am I safe?

I’m getting married next week. I feel this mixture of happiness, unrest and sadness. I wish all I felt was the stress of planning.

I wish the world wasn’t sick right now. Not sick with the coronavirus, not sick with racism…

And if you look like me, both are dangerous.